July 2012


Today I’m going to leave you with a few things I couldn’t make individual posts about before our unofficial  “Week Of All Things Batman” comes to a close. I’m listing it in no particular order, so feel free to consume it in which ever way you please.

Batman and Harry Potter crossover.

This world is hilarious.

I don’t know what it is about FanFiction but it seriously has a Rule 34 type way of existing regardless of whether there’s any conceivable reason why it should.

With titles such as:  A Wizard In Gotham, Bats Don’t Use Magic, Dark Knights of The Soul, Harry Potter and the Mantle of the Dark Knight, and The Boy Who Lived to Fly.

And wonderful descriptions:

A retired Batman saves Harry and, after taking him in and training him, Harry becomes the new Batman. Harry/OC, Harry/Draco.”

Typical Batman/Harry Potter crossover. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville end up in mysteriously in Gotham. Oh no! With the help of Tim Drake, they struggle to find their way back to the wizarding world.”

After living a long life, Harry Potter died and is reborn as Adrian Wayne, the younger brother of Bruce Wayne. Born into this new world, Harry still retains memories of his former life, and it seems his magic is there to stay as well.

You can’t help but just smile, cry, laugh or sigh. It’s adorable in it’s own little way, right? If you would like to read more please visit: FanFiction.net

LITTLE BIG PLANET 2 – Batman: The Animated Series

I posted Episode 1 of this on our Facebook Page earlier this week but if you haven’t checked out both episodes, you really should. Little Big Planet 2 mainly provides you with tools to make platformers and 2D shoot em’ ups,  but it’s thinking-outside-of-the-box projects like this that solidifies it as one of my favorite games. And the creator here just nails all the style that made the cartoon fun.

BAT ROMANCE

Look, it has Harley Quinn and Lady Gaga. I just…I’m sorry. Poison Ivy sure gets some clever lyrics though.  And if you skip ALL THE WAY to 5:08 you can see Andrew’s dream woman.

Google “The Adventures of Little Batman” and you won’t regret it.

Well, thanks for joining us as we rambled about Batman like geeky children. I’m sure you’ll still see a few posts about our favorite Caped Crusader here and there so don’t fret. We love Batman but we also love plenty of everything else too. Including you. So tell your friends we’re amazing, listen to our podcast, and LIKE us on Facebook. You guys are awesome.

-Neil

Twitter: @NeilPorche

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Harley Quinn is an Arkham Asylum psychiatrist who manically falls head over heels for Gotham’s own batshit insane Joker and becomes both his part time lover and full time accomplice. And you know what? I unabashedly love her.

I ❤ you.

There’s something tantalizing about diving into the mind of a woman who falls in love with a madman. How did Joker get inside her head? What DOES she see in him? What does it mean to be crazy? I love the way they dance around these questions as they depict her as just completely oblivious to Joker’s sometimes outright abusive yet playful jests in their relationship. Ah, and yes. There’s also that whole Cirque du Soleil thing she has going on. I’m 100% for that.

Get it? *sigh* I’m not, however, a fan of the new rebooted juggalo-esque Harley Quinn.

She might have originated as a neurotic sidekick in Batman: The Animated Series, but since then she’s had her fair share of comic and video games cameos. Though I wonder if the authors who drag out Harley Quinn will ever use her to her true potential. She can be an amusing, energetic, and crafty villain. She doesn’t just have to be a crazed clown loving lackey for the comic book heroes real nemesis. I keep wanting someone to delve into the pathos of what makes her….her. And play that out in a way that’s as faithful, dark, manipulative and twisted as the romance she shares with Joker.

Maybe one day!

Until then, I’m left with rewatching various Batman: The Animated Series episodes with her yelling, “Mr.J! Blah, blah, blah” or listening to her having girl talk with Poison Ivy. And maybe even catching a few panels of her in this ever growing pile of digital comics I’ve now collected. I guess what I’m trying to say is…I’d like more Harley Quinn, okay? Is that bad? Is it?
-Neil

Twitter: @neilporche

Oh, and… LISTEN TO OUR PODCAST ABOUT THE DARK KNIGHT RISES.

Believe me when I say: this is the Dark Knight’s toughest journey.

What up nerds, Andrew here saying that I sometimes wish I could go back to my 8-year-old self and smack that damn Sega Genesis controller out of my hand. (Did anyone else think that the Genesis controller was a clunky version of a batarang?  Maybe I tricked myself into believing this to make myself feel better about my parents getting me a Sega instead of the Super Nintendo.)  Day after day I would play this game:

Yeah. This was a game. And it was a BAD game.

As often as I played this game, I could never get past the first level (I hope to Batman that I wasn’t the only one).  I thought it was supposed to be a regular side-scrolling Batman game, and while it was that, it also wasn’t that.  Get what I’m saying?  I’m saying it sucked.  The baddies were tough to kill, the grappling hook (which I didn’t even know was in the game until I was a teenager) was so terrible that you couldn’t navigate the level.  The doors to move on to the next level were so damn hard to find, it was like trying to find a nerd at a frat party.  It just would never happen for me.  Out of frustration, I would yank out the game and put in some Mortal Kombat 2 to ease the pain…and yet…while playing MK 2, I could see Jim Carrey doing his weird flailing-arm-tube-man routine on the game cover…laughing at me…laughing…and in that horrible outfit with that horrible hair-do!!!  No…Justice must be served.

So, like Batman, I rose out of the bog of eternal stench and popped that baby back in, repeating these words: “I think I can, I think I can” over and over (because that’s the only way to beat games).  The sweat from my brow leaking into my left eye.  I cried and screamed in agony from the searing, salty pain while still throwing batarangs at thugs and trying to find an exit to the first damn level.  Must…keep…going…

Who am I kidding?  This game sucks so much that I couldn’t even push through after multiple tries.  I’m done with this game.

Over the years Batman games released, one after another after another.  These were dark times indeed.  We needed a hero, we needed hope.  We needed…

This is the game we deserved AND the game we need right now.

You ever wonder what it’s like to become Batman?  This game gave you that opportunity.  This was amazing, from the character design, to the level design, and to figuring out ways to use your gadgets to progress through the game.  After several missions you  can upgrade your weapons and gadgets and even unlock new ones.  The boss fights (except for the last one) were fantastic.  Everything about this game freaking ruled (except for the last boss fight).

And just when I thought I had been given the best gift of all time, Rocksteady announced the sequel, Arkham City.  I felt like an 8-year-old again.  I was just so happy with life.  I know Neil will disagree with me, but Arkham Asylum and Arkham City are the BEST Batman Video Games ever made.  Ever.  There is no argument to this.

Maybe I should get Batman to go back in time and slap that Batarang Genesis controller out of my hand, and let me ride on his back while he glides across the city.  Neverending Story style:

YEAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!

Except Falcor fights crime instead of staring at Atreyu awkwardly.

 

-Andrew

All of this Dark Knight talk as of late has caused me to dip deeply into everything Batman. Whether it’s comics, movies, or video games…Batman has left a mark in every imaginable form of entertainment medium. With the internet making all things pretty much at my fingertips, I was at a loss of where to begin. So I figured I’d write about it.

First of all, as I mentioned on our podcast, I’ve sunk some dollars into Comixology’s comicbook app on my iPad/iPhone. While I grew up with eyes glued to Wolverine and Spiderman comics, I rarely so much as glanced at a Batman one. This means I have a lot of catching up to do.

It’s so easy when it’s one button away.

I started out with Batman: No Man’s Land, Batman: Year One, Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, The Batman Hush story arc, and the five issues of Batman Black & White. Am I missing anything? I believe the $.99 sale ends tonight, but I keep hearing I should pick up the issues that fall under the Knightfall story arc as well. There’s just such a plethora of storylines that all sound entertaining. Why didn’t I start reading Batman comics sooner? Either way, I can’t recommend enough that  you check out the Comixology app.  It works pretty flawlessly on most Android and all iOS capable devices.

*squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze*

Annnnnd, damn you Netflix. Why don’t you have any of the Batman cartoons for me to watch? I have this craving that your on-every-device Instant Watch queue is suppose to fill.  See, I have fond memories of Batman: The Animated Series.  And somewhat fuzzier but still fond memories of Batman Beyond. I want to revisit these things but that means I might have to resort to picking up the physical copies. The digital download and streaming future has spoiled me. I would like these things at a click of a button. I would like them…now.

The one time I laughed at Robin.

And speaking of digital downloads, I’m rounding up some of my favorite and not so favorite Batman video games that have popped up over the years. I plan to write about them later this week whenever Andrew comes to experience the joy of being the Batman with me. He wants to be my Robin.

-Neil

twitter: @neilporche

What up, nerds.  Andrew here. Just when you thought you were done with the Batman garble, Nerd Takeout drags you back in.  We said we were going to spam you with Batman stuff, so we are spamming you with Batman stuff.

This will help: think of our spam as those cool little batarang-needle things that Batman throws at your neck to render you unconscious.  Pretty cool, right?  Right? No?  No one?

Hopefully if you are reading this, you have listened to our Dark Knight Rises podcast.  If not, then please do so now.  This blog will be here when you get back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86yWsIVgiOA&feature=plcp

Are you back?  Good.  Hopefully you didn’t fall asleep at your computer. (Just kidding, this is good stuff!)

So if you have seen TDKR, then I’m sure you will agree with me when I say: “BANE SCARED THE EVER-LOVING CRAP OUT OF ME!!!”

*looks over shoulder, checks underpants*

Also I know if you are reading this, then you HAVE in fact tried your best impersonation at Bane’s voice.  I know you have been walking around your house, work, etc. with your hands cupped over your mouth trying to squeeze out the best old-man voice you can.  I know you’ve done this, why?  Because I CAN’T STOP DOING IT.  I would be doing this now if my fingers weren’t typing away.

Seriously though he scared me more than Heath Ledger’s Joker.  The Joker was just fun to watch and in fact I found myself cheering him on.  But with Bane?  No.  We cannot have fun watching Bane (and I’m okay with this).

Anywho, my point is I, like Neil, was reminded of the old-school Batman villains from the nineties that were so terribad.  You know, the Tommy Lee Jones Two-Face, and the Jim Carrey’s Riddler…so terribad… *shudders*.  I just wanted to express my eternal gratitude to Chris Nolan for showing us the BEST portrayals of the villains that he gave us.  You can argue with me all you want, but Heath Ledger was the best Joker.  Shut up, Tim Burton.

Seriously?

And then:

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!

And then:

AWW COME ON!!!!!

This hurts.  This hurts so very much.  I just want Bane to come onto this blog and punch these pictures in the face.

I know that feel, bro.

Maybe Bane was so angry at the terrible portrayals of his best friends in the older films?  Who’s to know.  So as awesome as Bane was, he also had some pretty awesome one-liners, (I’m surprised they aren’t memes yet!) such as:

“Your punishment must be more severe.”

“Behold the instrument to your liberation!”

“Now is not the time for fear, that comes later.”

AND, OF COURSE:

“When Gotham is ashes…(beat)…then you have my permission to die.”

Great job, Tom Hardy.

ALSO, in the Batman world, Chris Nolan released this tear-jerking goodbye letter to the Batman franchise:

http://batman-news.com/2012/07/24/christopher-nolans-goodbye-letter-to-the-batman-franchise/

And I would like to say, Christopher Nolan, that we will miss it just as much as you will.  And thank you for this wonderful gift you have given to us.

Check back tomorrow for more Batman-y goodness!

-Andrew

Oh Batman. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching the late 80’s and early 90’s Batman films. They were cheesy, yeah, but as a kid they were fun to watch. It was one of the earliest exposures I had to superheroes…and at least for a while, Batman Returns was something I’d watch over and over when my parents asked me which movie I wanted to throw in the VCR.

*sigh*

So sitting here after just now finishing up Nolan’s dark and gritty new Batman trilogy, I can’t help but wonder if I’ll EVER be able to go back and enjoy those old movies again. Granted they got way out of the hand by the time Schwarzenegger was running around with his Freeze Ray, but is there anything in those films left to love?

-Neil

Twitter: @neilporche

“Why Do We Fall?”

The running theme in Christopher Nolan’s Batman Trilogy, while very simple, opens the mind to thoughts almost too inconceivable.  The greatest question we as people could ask is “Why?”

I attended the midnight release of Nolan’s latest, The Dark Knight Rises.  (I will not be giving a full review as of yet.  You guys are going to have to listen in to the next podcast for our roundtable discussion of the final installment to Nolan’s Batman Trilogy.)

A phone call from a friend woke me from my nightmare (which was pretty much someone speaking to me in Bane’s voice over and over), and he asked if I had seen the news.  Rubbing my eyes and checking the time, I replied with a grunting “no”.

He proceeded to tell me about the events at a movie theatre in Aurora, Colorado where a gunman, donning a bulletproof vest, multiple firearms, and a gasmask, threw tear-gas canisters into a crowd of moviegoers and began to open fire.

I couldn’t help but think, “These are MY people”.  These are the late-night moviegoers that I know and love.  These are MY nerdy people and we are all awake at midnight celebrating the same event.  An event that’s so esoteric that, when we are older, we will reflect upon as one of the several instances that define our generation.

Of course after hearing this, the only question I could ask myself was “why?”

I spent the entire day watching the news and filing through the Internet to find an answer to that question.  The terrible part about all this is I still haven’t and probably won’t find one.  Then someone posted this quote on Facebook:

This weekend, go to a movie.  No, it’s not about keeping the bad guys from winning, or making a statement, although if you want it to be, that’s okay.  Go to the movies this weekend because it’s a joy.  One of the last great joys we have left these days, it seems.  Plant yourself in a theater, and see whatever you fancy.  It’s the place dreams come true.  It’s the magic land.  That screen isn’t a window – it’s a door.  An inviting door that lets in everyone.  All are welcome in that world, and we get to wonder in the power of imagination and beauty. – Nordling, aintitcoolnews.com

I’m putting this quote here because I definitely could not have said it better, and I don’t know anyone that can.  This reiterates why the word “magic” is often paired with anything to do with going to a movie. The movie theatre truly is “the magic land”.  A good movie will provide you an opportunity to escape. The emotions that encompass you when watching a great film are indescribable and should never be taken away from you by the hands of another man.

I sometimes wish we had a real-life Batman that could save us from events like these.

Christopher Nolan later released a statement on the tragedy:

Speaking on behalf of the cast and crew of The Dark Knight Rises, I would like to express our profound sorrow at the senseless tragedy that has befallen the entire Aurora community. I would not presume to know anything about the victims of the shooting, but that they were there last night to watch a movie. I believe movies are one of the great American art forms and the shared experience of watching a story unfold on screen is an important and joyful pastime. The movie theatre is my home, and the idea that someone would violate that innocent and hopeful place in such an unbearably savage way is devastating to me. Nothing any of us can say could ever adequately express our feelings for the innocent victims of this appalling crime, but our thoughts are with them and their families.

“The movie theatre is my home”, says Nolan.  I’ve never really thought about it, it must have just been a subconscious idea, that the theatre does sometimes feel like a second home.  We go to this place and are overtaken by such powerful emotions that we may never experience anywhere else.  It’s comforting.

What I’m trying to say is, don’t be afraid to go to the movie theatre.   Go enjoy yourself.  Don’t let someone replace your happiness with fear.  Why should we let someone take that from us?

We here at Nerd Takeout believe in living your life doing what you love.  If you enjoy going to the movie theatre to escape for a couple of hours a day, then please by all means do so.

Also, on behalf of our nerds here at Nerd Takeout I want to express our state of deep despondency for the friends and families of the victims of the Aurora tragedy.  Our thoughts are forever with you.

Life is about asking yourself, “why do we fall?”

“So we can learn to pick ourselves up.”

-Andrew

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