What up, nerds.  Andrew here, and I’m here to complain about Electronic Arts.  (Surprised? I thought not.)  This time my Shooter of the Year from 2011 has been completely ruined.  Ruined I tell you!

The game of which I am speaking, of course, is Battlefield 3.  If you have played this, then you know what I’m talking about and will hopefully agree with me.  If you haven’t played this, then continue reading to learn another reason why I’m not a fan of EA.

When Battlefield 3 first came out, I was blown away.  Neil will disagree with me when I say that the Battlefield 3 multiplayer is addicting, and just full-blown fun.  I’m here to tell you that Neil is dumb…and that Battlefield 3 is awesome.  Well, it WAS awesome until the 12-year-olds that used their parents’ money to buy (excuse me *ahem* “rent”) a private server.  You heard me right.  12-year-olds run Battlefield 3 now.

I have a dream, people, that one day we can live in a world where a man and a woman can simply select “Quick Match” in Battlefield 3 multiplayer and be put into a game that’s fair.  A game that’s set up by moderators.  A game unscathed by the likes of 12-year-old boys.  I had a dream, people, and that dream has been crushed.

Let me explain how this works:  You used to be able to just select “Quick Match” and jump into a pre-set game, a FAIR GAME, mind you, where the battlefield was even and it was truly a “may the best man win” scenario.  But NOW in an effort to make even MORE money off of this game, EA and Dice have switched it over to Private Servers.  Players can now “rent” a server, at a certain price and run games how THEY want to run the game.  This is a fun idea and should be used sparingly, but when that’s your only option with the multiplayer of this game, I’d say it’s time to delete all 6.1 gigs of space from your hard drive.  So if you’re really good at Battlefield 3 then don’t worry about playing because once you start wiping the tile floors of Operation Metro with the blood of 12-year-old children, you get kicked from for kicking their ass.  Yes.  That happens.  And far too often.  Now don’t get me wrong, there are a few private servers out there that are truly focused on the fairness of the game, but the fact that I can get kicked at any moment is still a haunting thought that distracts me from sniping heads off.

Curse you, EA.  Curse your name.

And you know what?  Some people may say that it’s all Dice’s fault, but I’m done with giving EA the benefit of the doubt.  Every time a game is changed or I have an issue with a specific game, I take a look at the game case and those those stupid vowels “E” and “A” are staring me right in the face.  Laughing at me.

…the horror…the..horror…

I don’t know what else to say on this matter, so moving on to the next topic…


Hammerhead, Black-Tip, Make, Sandtiger and Great White.  That’s right.  Sharks.  You know, those cuddly, snuggly-looking critters from the deep?  The same ones that snatched up Samuel L. Jackson mid-sentence in Deep Blue Sea?

If you haven’t seen this movie, you should because it is fan-freakin-tastic.

Though they did enjoy Sam Jackson (“Mmm..That IS a tasty burger!”) as a snack, I think these creatures are misunderstood.  They may look scary, but I assure they are not evil creatures, they’re just really, really stupid.  So stupid, in fact, that they assume they can just eat anything, and some of those “anythings” turn out to be humans.  When this happens, they are put in a bad light.  I hope I can change your minds today, people, by taking sharks out of that “bad light” and putting them in the “misunderstood light”.  Because I have a dream that one day man and shark– (J/K I won’t do this again)

Just food for thought, good readers.  Food for thought.  Also how can you hate sharks, when we had this show growing up:

Street Sharks!

Either way, let’s show some respect for the shark today, people.  Go for a swim and cuddle with a shark if you can.  (I hear those Great Whites are excellent spooners)  If you’re a 12-year-old that plays Battlefield 3 (or work for EA), then make sure you have some sort of fresh flesh wound before you go for a swim.  I promise you they will love you for it.

ALSO, if you haven’t listened to this week’s podcast, we talked about the Amazing Spiderman movie.  So if you haven’t seen it yet, then be sure to listen in to help you decide how you want to spend your money.

DOUBLE ALSO, if you want, please leave a comment below to express your love/hate for sharks or EA.  If you have to make a WordPress account to comment, then do it!!! It’s worth it, I promise.  I’ll give you a personal shout-out on the podcast if you do so.

Stay nerdy, you nerds.