What up, nerds.  Andrew here. Just when you thought you were done with the Batman garble, Nerd Takeout drags you back in.  We said we were going to spam you with Batman stuff, so we are spamming you with Batman stuff.

This will help: think of our spam as those cool little batarang-needle things that Batman throws at your neck to render you unconscious.  Pretty cool, right?  Right? No?  No one?

Hopefully if you are reading this, you have listened to our Dark Knight Rises podcast.  If not, then please do so now.  This blog will be here when you get back.


Are you back?  Good.  Hopefully you didn’t fall asleep at your computer. (Just kidding, this is good stuff!)

So if you have seen TDKR, then I’m sure you will agree with me when I say: “BANE SCARED THE EVER-LOVING CRAP OUT OF ME!!!”

*looks over shoulder, checks underpants*

Also I know if you are reading this, then you HAVE in fact tried your best impersonation at Bane’s voice.  I know you have been walking around your house, work, etc. with your hands cupped over your mouth trying to squeeze out the best old-man voice you can.  I know you’ve done this, why?  Because I CAN’T STOP DOING IT.  I would be doing this now if my fingers weren’t typing away.

Seriously though he scared me more than Heath Ledger’s Joker.  The Joker was just fun to watch and in fact I found myself cheering him on.  But with Bane?  No.  We cannot have fun watching Bane (and I’m okay with this).

Anywho, my point is I, like Neil, was reminded of the old-school Batman villains from the nineties that were so terribad.  You know, the Tommy Lee Jones Two-Face, and the Jim Carrey’s Riddler…so terribad… *shudders*.  I just wanted to express my eternal gratitude to Chris Nolan for showing us the BEST portrayals of the villains that he gave us.  You can argue with me all you want, but Heath Ledger was the best Joker.  Shut up, Tim Burton.


And then:


And then:


This hurts.  This hurts so very much.  I just want Bane to come onto this blog and punch these pictures in the face.

I know that feel, bro.

Maybe Bane was so angry at the terrible portrayals of his best friends in the older films?  Who’s to know.  So as awesome as Bane was, he also had some pretty awesome one-liners, (I’m surprised they aren’t memes yet!) such as:

“Your punishment must be more severe.”

“Behold the instrument to your liberation!”

“Now is not the time for fear, that comes later.”


“When Gotham is ashes…(beat)…then you have my permission to die.”

Great job, Tom Hardy.

ALSO, in the Batman world, Chris Nolan released this tear-jerking goodbye letter to the Batman franchise:


And I would like to say, Christopher Nolan, that we will miss it just as much as you will.  And thank you for this wonderful gift you have given to us.

Check back tomorrow for more Batman-y goodness!



Oh Batman. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching the late 80’s and early 90’s Batman films. They were cheesy, yeah, but as a kid they were fun to watch. It was one of the earliest exposures I had to superheroes…and at least for a while, Batman Returns was something I’d watch over and over when my parents asked me which movie I wanted to throw in the VCR.


So sitting here after just now finishing up Nolan’s dark and gritty new Batman trilogy, I can’t help but wonder if I’ll EVER be able to go back and enjoy those old movies again. Granted they got way out of the hand by the time Schwarzenegger was running around with his Freeze Ray, but is there anything in those films left to love?


Twitter: @neilporche

“Why Do We Fall?”

The running theme in Christopher Nolan’s Batman Trilogy, while very simple, opens the mind to thoughts almost too inconceivable.  The greatest question we as people could ask is “Why?”

I attended the midnight release of Nolan’s latest, The Dark Knight Rises.  (I will not be giving a full review as of yet.  You guys are going to have to listen in to the next podcast for our roundtable discussion of the final installment to Nolan’s Batman Trilogy.)

A phone call from a friend woke me from my nightmare (which was pretty much someone speaking to me in Bane’s voice over and over), and he asked if I had seen the news.  Rubbing my eyes and checking the time, I replied with a grunting “no”.

He proceeded to tell me about the events at a movie theatre in Aurora, Colorado where a gunman, donning a bulletproof vest, multiple firearms, and a gasmask, threw tear-gas canisters into a crowd of moviegoers and began to open fire.

I couldn’t help but think, “These are MY people”.  These are the late-night moviegoers that I know and love.  These are MY nerdy people and we are all awake at midnight celebrating the same event.  An event that’s so esoteric that, when we are older, we will reflect upon as one of the several instances that define our generation.

Of course after hearing this, the only question I could ask myself was “why?”

I spent the entire day watching the news and filing through the Internet to find an answer to that question.  The terrible part about all this is I still haven’t and probably won’t find one.  Then someone posted this quote on Facebook:

This weekend, go to a movie.  No, it’s not about keeping the bad guys from winning, or making a statement, although if you want it to be, that’s okay.  Go to the movies this weekend because it’s a joy.  One of the last great joys we have left these days, it seems.  Plant yourself in a theater, and see whatever you fancy.  It’s the place dreams come true.  It’s the magic land.  That screen isn’t a window – it’s a door.  An inviting door that lets in everyone.  All are welcome in that world, and we get to wonder in the power of imagination and beauty. – Nordling, aintitcoolnews.com

I’m putting this quote here because I definitely could not have said it better, and I don’t know anyone that can.  This reiterates why the word “magic” is often paired with anything to do with going to a movie. The movie theatre truly is “the magic land”.  A good movie will provide you an opportunity to escape. The emotions that encompass you when watching a great film are indescribable and should never be taken away from you by the hands of another man.

I sometimes wish we had a real-life Batman that could save us from events like these.

Christopher Nolan later released a statement on the tragedy:

Speaking on behalf of the cast and crew of The Dark Knight Rises, I would like to express our profound sorrow at the senseless tragedy that has befallen the entire Aurora community. I would not presume to know anything about the victims of the shooting, but that they were there last night to watch a movie. I believe movies are one of the great American art forms and the shared experience of watching a story unfold on screen is an important and joyful pastime. The movie theatre is my home, and the idea that someone would violate that innocent and hopeful place in such an unbearably savage way is devastating to me. Nothing any of us can say could ever adequately express our feelings for the innocent victims of this appalling crime, but our thoughts are with them and their families.

“The movie theatre is my home”, says Nolan.  I’ve never really thought about it, it must have just been a subconscious idea, that the theatre does sometimes feel like a second home.  We go to this place and are overtaken by such powerful emotions that we may never experience anywhere else.  It’s comforting.

What I’m trying to say is, don’t be afraid to go to the movie theatre.   Go enjoy yourself.  Don’t let someone replace your happiness with fear.  Why should we let someone take that from us?

We here at Nerd Takeout believe in living your life doing what you love.  If you enjoy going to the movie theatre to escape for a couple of hours a day, then please by all means do so.

Also, on behalf of our nerds here at Nerd Takeout I want to express our state of deep despondency for the friends and families of the victims of the Aurora tragedy.  Our thoughts are forever with you.

Life is about asking yourself, “why do we fall?”

“So we can learn to pick ourselves up.”


I feel like I’m the only person not completely stoked for The Dark Knight Rises. I like Batman but maybe I’m just trying to unconsciously temper my expectations? Either way,  we here at NerdTakeout are interested in if/when you’re going to see the movie.  So please humor us by taking part in this little poll.

Oh, and as a thanks for coming by… I’ll leave you with this:

Thanks bunches. WE LIKE WHEN YOU LIKE US.



(EDIT: I have no excuse for misspelling “Opening”. But it can’t be edited. So life fail. Thanks Adam Arinder.)

 Welcome to NerdTakeout.

We discuss entertainment for your amusement and intellectual consumption. Presented by Josh Carley, John-Michael Carley, Andrew Green, and Neil Porche. Sometimes we are funny. Sometimes we are loud. But usually we’re entertaining.

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And if you really liked us you’d tell everyone how awesome we are. Until they like us too.

Continue reading below for a constant stream of ramblings and thoughtful insights.

I have a huge boner for all things made from the pretty pixels of my childhood. Well, most things. If I could slide back in time and find chibi child Neil and just show him a glimpse of Super Mario Bros. Crossover 2.0…his mind would melt into a puddle of goo.  Telling me I could use the Spread Gun from Contra to blow through waves of Goombas, fling Ryu Hayabusa around to stick and crawl anywhere on World 1-1, boomerang Koopa Troopas with Link, or slide under and pew pew bricks with Mega Man would have been way too much for my puny 2D 8-bit pre-internet brain to comprehend.

And even now, twenty or so years later, I still have trouble accepting the reality that this exists. You get to choose from a variety of NES Characters: Mario, Luigi, Bill Rizer (Contra), Link, Samus Aran, Mega Man, Bass, Simon Belmont, Sophia III (Blaster Master), and Ryu Hayabusa.  All of these characters are ported pixel perfect with their own animations, sounds, and effects on enemies reflective of their individual respective games…but within the original Super Mario Bros. game engine.  And also with the added bonus of having a screen filter to make your whole visual experience reminiscent of the puke green colors we starred at on our original Game Boy. It’s a total nerdgasm. Impossible to not enjoy.

Give this little flash labor of love a few minutes of your time and let us know what you think. If it tickles your fancy, Team Rabbit (the team behind Super Mario Bros. Crossover), has decided to take the ideas/experience they gained from working on this project and create a brand new game they can actually profit from without hundreds of cease and desist letters. Their Kickstarter only has a few days left but you can check it out here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/explodingrabbit/super-retro-squad.




What up, nerds.  Andrew here, and I’m here to complain about Electronic Arts.  (Surprised? I thought not.)  This time my Shooter of the Year from 2011 has been completely ruined.  Ruined I tell you!

The game of which I am speaking, of course, is Battlefield 3.  If you have played this, then you know what I’m talking about and will hopefully agree with me.  If you haven’t played this, then continue reading to learn another reason why I’m not a fan of EA.

When Battlefield 3 first came out, I was blown away.  Neil will disagree with me when I say that the Battlefield 3 multiplayer is addicting, and just full-blown fun.  I’m here to tell you that Neil is dumb…and that Battlefield 3 is awesome.  Well, it WAS awesome until the 12-year-olds that used their parents’ money to buy (excuse me *ahem* “rent”) a private server.  You heard me right.  12-year-olds run Battlefield 3 now.

I have a dream, people, that one day we can live in a world where a man and a woman can simply select “Quick Match” in Battlefield 3 multiplayer and be put into a game that’s fair.  A game that’s set up by moderators.  A game unscathed by the likes of 12-year-old boys.  I had a dream, people, and that dream has been crushed.

Let me explain how this works:  You used to be able to just select “Quick Match” and jump into a pre-set game, a FAIR GAME, mind you, where the battlefield was even and it was truly a “may the best man win” scenario.  But NOW in an effort to make even MORE money off of this game, EA and Dice have switched it over to Private Servers.  Players can now “rent” a server, at a certain price and run games how THEY want to run the game.  This is a fun idea and should be used sparingly, but when that’s your only option with the multiplayer of this game, I’d say it’s time to delete all 6.1 gigs of space from your hard drive.  So if you’re really good at Battlefield 3 then don’t worry about playing because once you start wiping the tile floors of Operation Metro with the blood of 12-year-old children, you get kicked from for kicking their ass.  Yes.  That happens.  And far too often.  Now don’t get me wrong, there are a few private servers out there that are truly focused on the fairness of the game, but the fact that I can get kicked at any moment is still a haunting thought that distracts me from sniping heads off.

Curse you, EA.  Curse your name.

And you know what?  Some people may say that it’s all Dice’s fault, but I’m done with giving EA the benefit of the doubt.  Every time a game is changed or I have an issue with a specific game, I take a look at the game case and those those stupid vowels “E” and “A” are staring me right in the face.  Laughing at me.

…the horror…the..horror…

I don’t know what else to say on this matter, so moving on to the next topic…


Hammerhead, Black-Tip, Make, Sandtiger and Great White.  That’s right.  Sharks.  You know, those cuddly, snuggly-looking critters from the deep?  The same ones that snatched up Samuel L. Jackson mid-sentence in Deep Blue Sea?

If you haven’t seen this movie, you should because it is fan-freakin-tastic.

Though they did enjoy Sam Jackson (“Mmm..That IS a tasty burger!”) as a snack, I think these creatures are misunderstood.  They may look scary, but I assure they are not evil creatures, they’re just really, really stupid.  So stupid, in fact, that they assume they can just eat anything, and some of those “anythings” turn out to be humans.  When this happens, they are put in a bad light.  I hope I can change your minds today, people, by taking sharks out of that “bad light” and putting them in the “misunderstood light”.  Because I have a dream that one day man and shark– (J/K I won’t do this again)

Just food for thought, good readers.  Food for thought.  Also how can you hate sharks, when we had this show growing up:

Street Sharks!

Either way, let’s show some respect for the shark today, people.  Go for a swim and cuddle with a shark if you can.  (I hear those Great Whites are excellent spooners)  If you’re a 12-year-old that plays Battlefield 3 (or work for EA), then make sure you have some sort of fresh flesh wound before you go for a swim.  I promise you they will love you for it.

ALSO, if you haven’t listened to this week’s podcast, we talked about the Amazing Spiderman movie.  So if you haven’t seen it yet, then be sure to listen in to help you decide how you want to spend your money.

DOUBLE ALSO, if you want, please leave a comment below to express your love/hate for sharks or EA.  If you have to make a WordPress account to comment, then do it!!! It’s worth it, I promise.  I’ll give you a personal shout-out on the podcast if you do so.

Stay nerdy, you nerds.